Talk:A Space for the Unbound/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: RFNirmala (talk · contribs) 07:44, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 02:41, 18 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I will be starting the review momentarily. I will use the template to indicate what needs to be done, and leave comments below. Z1720 (talk) 02:41, 18 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Some comments:

"getting close to graduation with his girlfriend Raya" Is this a euphemism for something, or should this be rephrased?
"which Dimas described "as an appreciation for or awareness of impermanence and the passage of time."" There is a wiki article about this, so I don't think his explanation is necessary.
"He noted that "every generation has its own memories and [A Space for the Unbound] is our memories and we want to preserve that before we completely forget about it."" Instead of a quote, I would put this in summary prose, like "He stated that the game was a preservation of his own memories growing up."
"The game heavily features anxiety and depression in the story, and the developers consulted professionals for their input in telling it appropriately." -> "The developers consulted professionals to accurately depict anxiety and depression in the story." I would also expand this sentence or merge the paragraph with another.

I'm up to "Release and publishing conflict": more comments will appear when I read the rest of the article. Z1720 (talk) 04:13, 18 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720 They are actually getting close to high school graduation, not a euphemism. I also followed your prose points and avoided using the word "multiple" in the mono no aware sentence. I merged the The game heavily features anxiety and depression... paragraph since I couldn't find appropriate info to expand on. The source also mentions the setting coinciding with political turmoil but it's just a side quote. RFNirmala (talk) 09:20, 18 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

More comments below:

"The player controls Atma, an Indonesian high school student getting close to graduation with his girlfriend Raya." -> "The player controls Atma, an Indonesian student. His girlfriend is Raya, and the two of them are soon going to graduate from high school." or something similar
"represented the characters' emotional experiences" Sentence fragment.
The reception is good, but its prose size can be reduced by merging individual comments when there is general agreements amongst reviewers. WP:RECEPTION has excellent suggestions on how to do this.
Ref 38 is a broken reference which needs to be fixed.

I'll continue later by addressing the sourcing and images. Z1720 (talk) 02:53, 19 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed them, which you can check out. I used a semicolon in the Gameplay sentence. I couldn't somehow find other ways to shorten the Reception, so you can tell me if there's anything more to improve. RFNirmala (talk) 04:04, 19 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]